By The Rev. Dr. Carl Grosse

You might have heard of Denis Estimon. Whether you have or have not, I encourage you to Google him and learn his story. In particular, you should check out how We Dine Together started. 

From time to time, I will call out the issue of people sitting by themselves at church. The only reasons you should ever see a person or couple or family – especially visitors – sitting with no one else in the pew, are the following: 1) there’s no more room in the pew, all the people in the group take up an entire pew; 2) someone has asked if it’s okay to sit with them and they’ve said no thank you. 

Both conditions are extremely rare. Most people welcome congenial company, especially in a new and unfamiliar place. Most people don’t have enough in their group to fill a pew. When Denise and I took a year to visit different churches around the Twin Cities, we were struck by the impact of personal engagement. Some of the biggest and most “popular” churches were the coldest. Hundreds of people all around and no one said boo. We might as well have been invisible. Others had designated schmoozers, which was better than nothing, but made you feel like they were ready to sell you a car. Some churches were a little too eager to have us join as members and be on a committee…after just visiting for the first time. That made us feel like raw meat for sharks. Only a few places had people who very naturally introduced themselves, asked if we were new or visiting, and offered to sit with us. It made a huge difference!  

Someone told me that Jack Garrison, whom we commended to God’s tender care on Wednesday, used to sit with Lakeisha and her girls on a regular basis. Basic kindness goes a long way. Let’s commit to making ourselves a loving, caring family for ALL who come through the doors.